Y’all know Grayscale, the Philadelphia pop-punk hit-makers who are notorious for not restocking their merch. In honor of Grayscale’s biggest (and most stressful) merch drop yet, I, a seasoned Grayscale merch enthusiast, am here to provide you with a step-by-step guide on how to prepare for a Grayscale merch drop.
https://twitter.com/GrayscalePA/status/1287432923411513345?s=20
1. Take the day off.
Yes, this seems a bit extreme, but trust me when I say this is an all-day event. You need to prepare yourself mentally and physically, and you can’t do that if you’re at work or school. Fake a medical emergency. Skip class. Drop out entirely. Do what you have to do to get that good quality merch.
2. Wake up early.
If you aren’t awake a minimum of four hours before the merch drop, you’ve already lost. Say goodbye to that beautiful hoodie because someone who actually takes this seriously bought it while you were half-asleep and trying to unlock your phone.
3. Prepare your bank account.
I don’t want to disclose how much money I have allotted for this merch drop, but let’s just say that my savings are looking a little weak right now. *cries in student loan debt*
4. Get the right soundtrack.
If you’re not listening to Grayscale when you buy Grayscale merch, you’re doing it all wrong. I personally like to listen to “Fever Dream” on repeat because it takes me back to the most chaotic time in my life: the pit during “Fever Dream” while seeing Grayscale at the TLA in Philadelphia. Buying Grayscale merch is just nearly as chaotic.
5. Avoid all distractions.
Turn off all notifications on your phone aside from Grayscale tweet notifications. Now is not the time to acknowledge a typo-filled tweet from one of your parents. Important things are happening.
6. Pray to the Grayscale gods.
May the odds be in your favor.
7. Cry.
Either you got the merch and you should cry tears of joy, or you missed out and you should cry tears of sadness. Either way, tears will be shed. We’ve all been there.
Good luck to everyone today. (Stay away from the hoodie I want.)
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